Subject: Bored at work, idiot computer users Date: Mon, 30 Mar 1998 16:40:18 -0800 (PST) From: Enki Himself To: eithne@erols.com, jls210@is5.nyu.edu, redgoat3@concentric.net I'm bored. It's really nice outside, so all the normal freaks and geeks and hyperactive 6 year olds are staying away from the library, leaving me with almost nothing to do. There's a guy who looks like Lance Henriksen who's looking up info on Hepatitis C, there's a guy who keeps asking me, planitively, "Why can't I just get on the World Wide Web? I just want to get on the world wide web!" (he can't get on because he keeps closing Netscape out and going into Encarta Virtual Globe instead.) And there are...the Idiot Girls. The Idiot girls come around every Monday and Wednesday -- the days when the library is open late -- and use perfectly good computers to look up info on crappy bands and Leonardo DiCaprio. The library charges 10 cents per page to print. By that metric, I would assume that these girls owe the Library roughly $20 or so, because not only do they print out dozens of images of LDC, they print four copies of each one. (Maybe in case they lose them...) They're looking at each picture, and, really loudly, moaning, saying "Oh my god! or "He is so hot." I think I may kill them. Subject: Where have the Idiot Girls gone? Date: Mon, 20 Apr 1998 16:10:06 -0700 (PDT) From: Enki To: eithne@erols.com CC: jls210@is5.nyu.edu It's 7:00, and the Idiot Girls are nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they got interet access of their own, or maybe they got arrested for possession. Either way, they're somewhere other than here. I almost miss them. Yes, the Idiot Girls have been worthy adversaries, and their absence leaves me with nobody to hate on Monday and Wednesday nights. I might not have respected them when they were bothering me, but now that they're gone, I can -- damn. They're back. I think I actually might kill them.