(This is part of the Brejcha Personal and Disability Resource Site, and after reading this page you can Click here for a Menu . But for now, Welcome to my:
©2002, F. Alexander Brejcha.
When Car proposed a topic "Accommodations We've Made due to M.S." I had to smile. What has M.S. made me change? Well, let's see (alphabetically): car, career plans, girlfriend, home, university studies... just a few of things.
Do I have any real regrets? "Grass on the other side being greener", "the road not traveled" being better, and other such clichés aside: not really. Have my radical life changes hurt me? Nah.
I was a good art student, but we all know how many rich art teachers there are out there, and now I am an established and recognized writer (recognized doesn't mean affluent [yet - knocking wood]) but I am getting ready to market two completed books. I was absolutely terrified of even talking to girls, but I have had four wonderful relationships since the M.S. and its resultant impotence – the last leading to marriage to a wonderful woman (also with M.S.) whom I never would have met were it not for my M.S.. And I was stuck in a series of small apartments in Philadelphia, but now we're about to build an accessible suburban house.
Sure, I would happily pitch my wheelchair and do a whole bunch of things not appropriate to mention in an open world-wide forum :-), but I am fortunate to have a secure life – partly thanks to an admittedly pollyannaish "glass is half full" attitude, and I thank God for that..
I have had to surrender a lot and "accommodate" to my M.S. by giving up walking, making Love normally, being in full control of my bladder and bowels, losing my ability to create art that was good enough that a Society Hill gallery would have put on a show if I would have had more pieces. And most frustrating: I have lost the ability to be in full control of my life due to a dependence (I HATE that) on attendant care to do my bowel program and get me ready for work (I can do it, but with such a great effort and time delay that I'd have to lose a lot of sleep or life time [shopping or other errands]).
BUT!!!!
People all over the world write me to thank me for my disABILITY resource information or to express appreciation for my writing, and above I already listed other positive changes. But to others looking for a point to this rushed-for-time essay, I can just say that the biggest "accommodations" to M.S. we need to make are to accept the changes we have to endure, and to find ways of either going on with our lives – or find new directions (possibly better ones) to our lives. We have to refuse to become victims, because – let's face it – people don't respect or pay attention to such. What people pay attention to, are those who survive!!
I am a professional science fiction writer and prognostication is my profession, so I can safely say that I would not like life "as it would have been" – and especially not how I would have turned out were it not for the changes M.S. have forced on me.
Find the way!!!
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