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©2002, F. Alexander Brejcha.
An interesting "Theme of the Month" that made me smile. In the April 2002 issue I gave my answer to "What accommodations have M.S. forced you to make?", so this is a very appropriate counterpoint in line with my "the glass is half full" way of looking at things.
Frankly, for me a more appropriate question would be: "What hasn't M.S. given you". In truth, my April answer partly answers this month's theme also. But I'll be specific here and I'll make a brief list here of what M.S. has given me (and why –– and forgive my frankness). Chronologically:
1) Loss of virginity. -- As I stated before (April issue), I was painfully shy and insecure about even trying to meet 'girls'/women (in high school/college). I was born in '57 and diagnosed with M.S. in '80. Increasing coordination and gait problems made it harder and harder to stay 'invisible', and gradually a forced adoption of a "what the hell: go ahead and stare!" attitude started to break down a reticence and longstanding shyness. Then in '84, a friendship with a nurse at the hospital where I worked (and still do) progressed to platonic apartment sharing. At first it was an innocent combination of economics and her former fellow-nurse room-mate from hell (she needed an affordable new home with a compatible room-mate -- and having a room-mate helped me financially also). Well, the platonic part didn't survive long and at the age of 26, I finally found out about the "birds and the bees"!
2) Discovery of the fact that sex is not just "Part A into Part B until Result C" (and the fact that this isn't necessarily bad). -- M.S. made my Birds 'N Bees experience a very short one, but along with my Glass philosophy, I formulated another one which is now one of my home page mottos: "If what you got don't work, work with what you got". And that allowed three more romantic AND sexual relationships to flourish (the last leading to marriage –– more on that later).
3) A writing career and public recognition. -- M.S. destroyed my promising art studies (I had a gallery interested in a show, but just needed more pieces), but after my pity party, not being creative got to me, and I tried writing. This is going well with a good body of short work (see bibliography at http://www.netreach.net/~abrejcha/biblio.htm) and two finished books out with an agent and a third in the works (Note 2004: 3 books published; see my web site{2 disABILITY reelated}). As a writer, I also frequently go to Science Fiction conventions as a guest writer and my work has been recommended for the Nebula award and given two Honorable Mentions in an annually published book called _Year's Best Science Fiction_
4) An education and increased sensitivity (and more public recognition). -- My own disabilities led me to develop a greater awareness and sensitivity to all disabilities, and that led me to develop a disABILITY Resource Web Site which now has thousands of links to all sorts of resources almost any disability, disease or condition. My site has been written up in _Yahoo Internet Life_ magazine and the Philadelphia _Daily News_, and through my site and letters written to magazines publishing my work I have met fascinating people from around the world (and even gotten a very explicit death threat in response to one story that was anti-apartheidt).
5) A wife! -- The best to last. My wife who also has M.S. was vice president of a charity foundation for people with M.S. –– Russia! (Woman in Moscow finds a profile of a Swedish writer in America on a British M.S. web site ––in order to help an M.S. client in Brazil!). The Brazilian MSer had also lost his art career due to M.S. and since I had changed creative outlets to writing, the hope was that I could motivate him to try the same as his online poetry showed promise. But letters about Brazil turned personal as we wrote and then spoke; and she read reprints of my work and explored the rest of my site to get to know "me". Then came a 14 month visit, a return to Russia to settle things, and then a move here and a wedding.
None of these things would have happened if I had not developed M.S. And these are just "What has M.S. given [me]".
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