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You know? Umlaut would make a really great name for a heavy metal band.
Goats and Penguins must settle their differences and band together to fight
the forces of darkness: guinea pigs.
I'm learning Spanish, Russian, and Japanese right now,
and I keep unconsciously switching back and forth in sentences, e.g.,
"Hi, Miss Woodlin. Como pozheviete, sensei?" I must sound like I'm on drugs.
Maybe that's why they searched my locker last year.
"Fnord" is a happy word.
The girl in front of me keeps looking at me. Either she has a
crush on me or she's wondering if I've ever heard of deoderant.
The Goats and the Penguins will band together and form a
new country: Fruitopia, where all beverages will be 100% pure fruit juice and
farm animals and flightless birds can live together in harmony.
I'm learning Japanese from a book called
Japanese Through Comic Books. So far I can
say "This idiot cat." "It is beef-flavored chewing gum."
"Don't beat the dog." and "Farewell, my fated rival."
Q: Rock'n'roll greats of the 1960s: where are they now?
A: The Betty Ford Clinic
The Mario64 game design in really trippy. I wonder if the designers were on drugs.
Maybe that's why mushrooms figure so largely in the game.
Lately I've adopted a new philosophy: Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn't, doesn't.
I defy anybody to argue with that logic.
You know, last year, after a 7th grader and an 11th grader got busted at school for having pot,
my locker got searched because I don't have a school-issue lock on it. All the
school had to do was look in the lockers of everybody in High School Lit Mag.
Speaking of which, I was in HS Lit Mag for about a half-hour. This year, the Lit Mag
is going to contain roughly 30 stories and poems about death, 27 of which will be
related to teen suicide. About 15 of the 27 stories will be written by the same person,
who I will not name. (Ariel Ben-Amos) When my friend suggested that we write something
cheerful, she was brushed off by the Lit Mag management as "not understanding their
creativity." She left too.
Welsh doesn't have enough vowels.
I don't care what the Welsh say, w is not a vowel.
I'm convinced that the rising rate of teen suicides is due to the fact that "motivational"
speakers at schools always say "These are the best years of your lives!"
Possible Electric Stoat slogan:
"You can't see it, it's electric -- boogie-woogie-woogie-woogie"
"I guess that having a third eye in the middle of your forehead would be considered
strange."
--William "Mad Dog" Mealey
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