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The Bonavita Brief Archive
TOP 10 CHRISTMAS MOVIES OF ALL TIME 10. It's a Wonderful Life - 1946 - George Bailey's saga of self pity. Who couldn't love it. The guy is married to Donna Reid, a piece of ass for the 1940s, but he wants to off himself 'cause he lost 8 grand. "Merry Christmas you old savings and loan!!!!!" "Yeah, a fine Christmas to you Bailey, in jail!" 9. A Christmas Carol - 1984 - George C. Scott is the scariest Scrooge ever. Bar none. "If not for me, there would be nothing! No Christmas goose at all!" 8. Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas - 1977 - This movie is hilarious. It was trying desperatley to be the Muppets, but it was funny anyway. For God's sake he's an otter. "I cut a hole in Ma's washtub for the contest Emmett!" 7. Jingle All the Way - 1996 - Arnold Schwartzenegger's search on Christmas Eve to find his son the TurboMan doll. During the day he has numerous encounters with Sinbad (as a mailman, HA) and they duke it out and it is just plain hilarious. Phil Hartman plays the nieghbor trying to get in Arnold's wife's pants. Priceless. "There has to be one TurboMan somewhere!" "Sorry Suckah, I got the laaaaaaaaaast one..." 6. The Santa Clause - 1994 - Tim Allen is funny. I thought this movie would suck, but it is pretty damn good. Judge Reinhold plays a close talking psychiatrist and is funny. "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! When I wake up tomorrow, I'm getting a CAT scan!" 5. A Christmas Story - 1983 - Thank you Ted Turner for showing this movie so many times I can't stand it by December 20. But it still holds water. The dad in the film is awesome. "Nadafingah!" "Chinese Turkey." "Only one thing could tear me away from electric sex in the living room..." 4. Home Alone - 1990 - Classic. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern make this movie in my opinion. John Candy as Gus Bilinsky, Polka King of the Midwest is pretty Goddamn hilarious also. "We sold 563 copies of the 'Kiss Me Polka'" "In Chicago?" "No Sheboygen, very big in Sheboygen." 3. the Muppet Christmas Carol - 1992 - Michael Caine may not be the scariest, but he is the best Scrooge I think. Very good stuff. Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat narrate the movie and it works. "Poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th" 2. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - 1989 - This finishes a very close 2nd. Chevy Chase's rant towards the end is one of the most memorable moments in all of filmaking. "Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!" 1. Scrooged - 1988 - The best Christmas movie of all time. Bob said it best, any movie where Bill Murray gives an old lady the finger is classic. Non stop laughs from beginning to end. "The bitch hit me with a toaster." THE TOP 10 HOTTEST FEMALE ATHLETES This wasn't as easy a list as I thought, because generally when a woman is a good athlete, she is a beast. Hello Venus Williams. That being said, here are what I consider the 10 hottest women in sports today. Now keep in mind I took into account looks, and actual athletic ability, because both are indeed very important. 10. Jeanette Lee - pool - Something about an Asian woman with 3 feet of hair in leather pants bending over a velvet table. She's hot, but pool isn't really a sport, it's a hobby right? Whatever. I like Jeanette a LOT. 9. Amy Acuff - olympic high jumper - 6'2", lean and dead sexayyy. Great big blue eyes and a stomach you could bounce a quarter off of. Not as curvy as I generally like a woman to be, but you can't argue with a rock of a bod and a woman who can dominate her sport. She also did a few modeling shoots to try to make some money, because after the olympics there isn't much for a high jumper to do. 8. Gabrielle Reece - volleyball - Another 6'2" beauty, with a stomach that Gregory Hines could tap on. A little commercialized and overplayed, and she hasn't done anything in a while. Plus her nose is crooked and unless your last name is Riley that ain't great. But that notwithstanding she is still very beautiful and stunning. 7. Mary Pierce - tennis - Without question, bar none, head and shoulders the best body in women's sports. Mary has it all, long legs, flat stomach, bona fide C cups. She is built like the proverbial brick shithouse, and the ad she did in Sports Illustrated where she is nekkid holding a medicine ball is classic. She would be #1 on the list if her face didn't remind me of Denis Leary. I exaggerate of course, she is reasonably pretty, but again with the Riley twin nose. 6. Amanda Coetzer - tennis - South Africa's finest, and I'm a sucker for an accent. She's only 5'3", but she is just so damn cute. She has overcome a lot in the way of her size to have beaten some big names in women's tennis. Blonde hair and blue eyes with that accent don't hurt much either. 5. Tisha Venturini - soccer - A member of the 1999 women's world cup championship team, Tisha has a jawline that was cut out of stone, and that smile could end a war. She is one of the prettiest people alive, with very little animal sex appeal. I could take Trish home to meet my grandmother and not feel dirty afterwards. 4. Anna Kournikova - tennis - Hear me out. She is undoubtedly the bee's knees, built like a Goddess, absolutely stunning hair and looks, but she is a capital FLAKE. I mean she has never won a tournament, ever. Not never won a major, never won a SINGLE TOURNAMENT. She is so full of herself I'm surprised she isn't oozing out of her own ass. An attitude like that is a definite turnoff, but she is still hot as hell. 3. Brandi Chastain - soccer - She is very beautiful. Fantastic smile, kind of girl-next-door look to her. Oh yeah she stripped down to her jogbra after scoring the winning goal in women's soccer history. I don't dig visible abs on a chick, but Brandi pulls it off. Great body, tall at 5'9" she is a dominant soccer player and a hot bod to match. 2. Mia Hamm - soccer - Mia is hot. She looks like an athlete, is the greatest female athlete in the last 25 years, and is remarkably good looking. She has the total package, but nothing extraordinary. She is a great athlete, a great player, and a woman who is intelligent. She doesn't get caught up in the cutesy-modeling or advertising. She is a woman and she sweats, and no woman looked better sweating. 1. Heather Mitts - soccer - Fullback for the Philadelphia Charge, she was the reason I watched the WUSA this year. I saw her on Comcast being interviewed by Al Meltzer and I fell in love. Blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous. Adjectives fall short, go to a Charge game next year, or find her online. She is incredible, take my word for it. Who doesn’t love a good movie? Anyone who’s afraid of the dark I guess, but not me. I love the movies, and I have seen some great flicks in my day. Here is a list of what are, in my very humble opinion, the top 10 Greatest Movies of All Time: 10. Predator – 1987 – A Special Forces Unit goes into South America to investigate the mysterious disappearance of several Green Berets. We find out that they have been killed by an alien hunter who rips the spine and skull out of his victims and burns them clean like a trophy. Excellent! A star-studded cast, (Ah-nold, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura) lead this team who end up dying one by one to the enemy that cannot be seen. Throw in a nuclear blast at the end (That Ah-nold somehow outruns??? But we ignore that) and you have one of the greatest action flicks of all time. Truly a classic. Great Line – “If it bleeds, we can kill it.” 9. The Godfather, Part II - 1974 - What can you do to remake the greatest mob movie ever and even get close to the original? You go back in time to find out just how Don Vito Corleone came into power, and you use Bobby DeNiro as the young Corleone. The black and white scenes in Little Italy are phenomenal, and it is hilarious to watch DeNiro and Bruno Kirby as young Clemenza meet and wreck havoc in the city. We learn that Corleone was being squeezed by the Black Hand, so he killed Don Fanucci in the apartment during the parade. Fantastic. We also see just how far down Michael has sunk, when he has his own brother killed for his errors. Michael concludes his drop from hero to villain, killing his brother and forcing Kaye out of her children’s life. One of the only movies where the sequel is arguably as good than the original. Great Line - "I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart, you broke my heart!" 8. Rocky – 1976 – Being from Marcus Hook, a tiny town on the outskirts of Philadelphia, this movie had to make an appearance in the top 10. One of the most impressive stories of an underdog taking on the man that was ever told. Don’t give me that Spartacus crap either. Rocky Balboa is an idiot, a man who can hardly speak. He gets a potluck shot at Apollo Creed, the mouthy Ali-like boxing champ of the world. We get to see Balboa sink to his all time low, almost giving up on his training, but his wife almost dying in childbirth gives him a new lease on what is easy and what is hard. He takes the champ to the distance, and what can be seen as a great twist of the traditional feel good movie, he loses. (You could also say it was a blatant set up for a sequel, but we’ll ignore that) Great Line – “I got all dis knowledge, see, it’s sittin’ up in my head, and I wanna give dat knowledge to ya Rock! Don’t cha understand that?” 7. Braveheart - 1995 - One of the goriest non-horror movies ever. The battle scenes in this movie are awe-inspiring. It is amazing that there are people in the world who have been through such pain. William Wallace is a common dude who through the murder of his wife leads a revolution against the King of England. The part that grabs me by the cojones is that he would have been successful if it weren't for the sellout of the two Lords in the end. That was a reasonably major blow to him, and when he finds out Robert the Bruce also betrayed him, it leaves him almost dead. It is an up and down movie, but never once does it leave you bored. And if Sophie Marceau and Catherine McCormack aren't two of the hottest things on two feet I don't know what is. King Edward Longshanks makes for a fantastic villain who eventually succumbs to syphilis, but not before our girl Sophie lets him in on the secret that she is carrying Wallace's child. I don't know how historically accurate that is, but who cares? A great flick. Great Line - "The Lord tells me he can get
me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're focked." 6. Dead Poets Society - 1989 - The only movie I've ever seen that can bring me to tears every time I see it. (That and Jim's honeymoon video). Robin Williams, in really his first semi-serious role, is a teacher who has the ability to make his students at an elite private school jump out of their shells and live for the moment. Williams is great as John Keating, Kurtwood Smith is eerie and frightening I tellya as Neil Perry's father. This was also one of Ethan Hawkes first starring roles, and he plays the extraordinarily introverted Tom to a tee. Robert Zigler III is fantastic as "Beans, the kid who didn't get up on his desk at the end." The film starts out a tad slow, but the climax is so fast and tragic that it makes the whole film worthwhile over and over again. The final scene in the classroom makes me shudder every time. What a great film. Great Line - "Mr. Nolan? It's for you. It's God. He says we should admit girls to Welton!" 5. The Sixth Sense - 1999 - One of the greatest thrillers of all time. And don't tell me you figured out the ending before they gave it away either. You're just not that smart. One of two Bruce Willis movies to make the cut in the top 10, Bruce plays a psychiatrist who gets shot by a deranged former client, then a year later meets up with a kid who can see dead people, and can speak to their restless spirits. The kid is understandably disturbed, and Willis spends the movie trying to get the kid to come to terms with his ordeal. We never notice that from the time he is shot he only wears the clothes he wore that night for the rest of the movie, we never notice that the only person he has contact with is the kid. Pay attention when you watch it 3 or 4 more times. All movie long. You didn't know it, I didn't know it, and it set the stage for one of the most memorable and sad endings of all time. A truly great film. Great Line - "Do you think I'm a freak mom?" 4. Die Hard - 1988 - Bruce Willis is a cop who finds himself the only person in a giant building not held hostage. Alan Rickman makes for a fantastic villain as the ruthless Hans Gruber. Grisly foreign terrorists take over the Nakatomi Plaza and between inept FBI agents, a dunderhead of a Deputy Police Chief, and nosy reporters, John McClain has his work cut out for him. He really plays the hero well, and kicks some major butt along the way. Reginald VelJohnson plays the only cop with an ounce of brains as John's radio buddy Al Powell. It's a buddy flick as well as an action/adventure, and it also packs a few yuks also. This is a classic action film. Great Line - "We're gonna need some more F.B.I. guys I guess." 3. The Untouchables - 1987 - Kevin Costner, Sean Connery, Andy Garcia, and Robert DeNiro. I like these star-studded flicks. Kevin Costner plays Elliot Ness, who leads his men who "cannot be bought" against the gangster Al Capone. Everyone plays a great role, but none better than Connery, who plays an Irish beat cop sucked into helping Ness reluctantly at first, but then finds he is living a dream. The death of two of the main characters helped make this a truly remarkable film. It is also very historically accurate; several confrontations between Ness and the newspapers, and also with Capone himself are right on the historical mark. Great Line - "One more thing. You got an
all out prizefight, you wait until the end, there's one man left standing. That's how you
know who won." Great Line - "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." 1. Midnight Run - 1988 - Another DeNiro picture, this one a half comedy, half buddy/action/adventure/cop film. The one-liners are precious and too many to list, Charles Grodin as the Duke is a fantastic co-star. His bland persona was a great contrast to Jack Walsh’s' fiery attitude. Marvin Dorfler is great as the anti-hero, and let's not forget Dennis Farina as the head gangster Jimmy Serrano. There are a host of excellent supporting actors, John Ashton plays Marvin Dorfler, (who has the best theme music wherever he goes), Yaphet Kotto as a marble mouthed FBI agent, (Haven't seen words jumbled like that since Andre the Giant), and of course, my personal favorite, Joe Pantoliano as Eddie Moscone, the bail bondsman who talks out of both sides of his mouth. One of the most enjoyable movies of all time. Never once even hints of losing its luster. I could watch this movie forever. Great Line - "Here come two words for you: Shut the fuck up." Honorable mention – These films just missed the cut, for one reason or another: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - 1989 Dances with Wolves 1990 The Hunt for Red October - 1990 Planet of the Apes - 1968 Goodfellas – 1990 Escape from New York - 1981 The Matrix - 1999 Gladiator - 2000 I want to be a golfer. DEBATE: Is Ally
McBeal the worst show on television?
I
have a dilemma. I enjoy my Monday night football, but sometimes I feel the need to watch a
little male-bashing. There are times I want to see the Packers and 49ers duke it out at
Lambeau, but other times I would like to see the saga of that poor little brat Ally
McBeal. Oh yea, I know a handful of lawyers who go clubbing every Wednesday night and then
show up in court the next day bright eyed and alert.
Ally McBeal could be the most ludicrous, unimaginative tripe that has ever been on television, and I'm including shows like "My Mother the Car", "Small Wonder" and "Baby Boom". How much imagination does it take to talk about how confusing and silly men of the world are? Every court case on that pathetic show has to do with men being retarded, every date Ally goes on is with a complete moron, so Ally gets to complain to her bitchy lawyer buds about what a sorry lot of fools men of the nineties are. Very few television shows have insulted me to the point that "Ally McBeal" does. I might not be a genius, but I have enough intelligence to know when my brains and ego are being trashed by a flat chested tramp and her cronies. Don't get me wrong, "Fame" tried to insult me, but that was a show for gays anyway. They weren't directly insulting me like Ally. That broad is brazen in her attack on the male gender, then has the BALLS to pretend that men are the problem, and not her own pathetic insecurity with her sexuality and personal confidence. Some days my friends, I don't get enough male bashing in the newspaper or on T.V. Some days I like to get a little extra ego bashing, because like Ally likes to tell me, I am a male, and I am a scumbag. Some days it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps. Debate : Who is lazier than a road construction crew? To be honest with you folks, I don't think there is
a lazier group of people in the world. Does anyone else notice that whenever you drive
past road construction, there is never anyone working? I think their lunch break lasts 9-5
with a work break from 12 - 12:15. There are 4 lane highways down to one lane, and 6 hours
later when you finally get past the construction, there are 4 guys walking around, 1 guy
with a sign, and 33 people in a freaking truck drinking coffee.
And what actually happens to these roads? 12 years later when the construction ends, the road is maybe 3 feet wider and has fresh paint on it. I sat in traffic half my life for that? God forbid these bums actually did some work, the roads might be passable and traffic might actually lighten up. And who the hell tells these bozos to do all this major construction during RUSH HOUR? It's 5pm on I-95 North, and these schmucks have 3 lanes blocked off for their 8 hour danish break. Is this DelDot? Or do the workers get paid by the hour no matter how long the job takes? 8am and 5pm is when they do their work, but drive by at 2pm when no one is on the road and you can't find an idiot in an orange jacket. I've got a solution, and when I'm governor of Delaware, I'll implement it. Offer double time for the construction crews to work from 8pm - 5am. Then tell them they have X amount of days to finish a job or they don't get paid past that deadline. That will eliminate the traffic issue, and it will also get these fat bastards off their smoke break and working. Happy Motoring! Why do radio stations play the same song 24 hours a day? I have heard "Steal my
Sunshine", "All Star", and "Scar Tissue" about 2, 983,062,156
times in the last half hour. Every time I turn on the stinking radio, one of those three
songs is playing. Who needs to listen to this crap for so long?
If radio stations are catering to the attention spans of pre-teens, then why the hell are all the commercials for bar happy hours or cars? Thier advertising demographic is 18-25, so why do they treat us like we have the attention span of a 12 year old? Play the stupid songs once or twice every 12 hours, and I may be able to live with it. When y100 and wstw play the songs once or twice an HOUR, it tends to make me want to take a hostage. If you want me, Joe Public, 24 years old, to listen to your radio show, my God, play some 80's punk, some 70's funk, and some 90's spunk, but not 3 songs rotating every 14 minutes. I just cant take it. ESPN has gotten out of
hand
I've always liked ESPN, so please don't
take my venom the wrong way, but the network that has brought us prime time bass fidhing,
cheerleading championships and SportsCenter, has gotten out of hand.
In an attempt to be Oh-so politically correct, the network that I used to have a great deal of respect for has just GONE TOO FAR. Of course sports fans, I'm talking about the sham that they are purporting, the shameless farce that is the SportsCentury top 50 athletes of the century. Now, I understand that there are politics involved when you get 48 sports writers to vote for the top 50 athletes, such as blacks voting more for Ali or Owens, or whites voting more for Gretzky or Jordan (that's right I said Jordan the white media loves to kiss his ass), just to name a couple. Lets look at the top 10: Muhammed Ali, Jesse Owens, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Jack Nicklaus, Babe Didrikson(?), Willie Mays, Babe Ruth, Jim Thorpe and Jim Brown. Now lets evaluate individually and see who actually belongs there: Ali (even though he is a communist fraud who refused to fight for his country) was a great boxer, probably the greatest of all time. So he belongs there. Owens single handedly embarressed Adolf Hitler and the Germans at the '36 olympics, he belongs there. Michael Jordan, ( another shameless fraud, but he was also the greatest) is in. Gretzky was the greatest hockey player of all time and brought the sport into prominence in the U.S. He belongs. Jim Thorpe played 4 PROFESSIONAL sports at the same time, and was the best in each sport. He belongs. Now lets get to the chumps that don't belong - Nicklaus - I love golf, and the Golden Bear was the greatest. But it's GOLF, and there are no athletes in golf. They might as well have bowlers in it. Jim Brown - There are 5 running backs I would have before Brown (Payton, Sanders, Simpson, Dickerson and Dorsett) This will be an unpopular holdout, but keep in mind he quit in the middle of his prime like a wuss. He is not top 10 in the century, he is politically correct. Mays - I love the Say hey kid, but again I would put Henry Aaron, DiMaggio, Ryan or Mantle ahead of him. Not top 10. Babe Ruth was no athlete. He was larger than baseball sure, but all he did was hit home runs. Hank Aaron did that. Better. And how about that Babe Didrikson. What a fraud, it's a GIRL! This is the contestant that convinced me that ESPN has gone too far. It is terribly obvious that either the Didrikson estate holds stock in ESPN, or she is alive and sucking the schlong of the head dude at ESPN. My top 10 would be so: 1. Jim Thorpe 2. Michael Jordan 3. Wayne Gretzky 4. Jesse Owens 5. Muhammed Ali 6. Babe Ruth 7. Willie Mays 8. Jim Brown 9. Jack Nicklaus 10. Babe Didrikson I would love to entertain a debate if anyone is game....... Peace and humptiness forever - There are two issues
burning a hole in my gullet as of today.
1) Why is Jesse Jackson causing guff in the National Football League because Ray Rhodes was fired? I have had enough of that jackass in the last 15 years to last me a lifetime. No one who has anything to do with Rhodes firing wants Jackson or the rainbow coalition to be involved. But there he goes, championing a cause that no one wants him to, simply to forward more political power for himself. He has no interest in Ray Rhodes, he wants people to look at him and say he is a fair man. HE IS NOT. The only reason that he is on Rhodes' side, even though Rhodes did not ask him, is because he feels that the Packers fired him because he is black. Maybe Jesse, they fired him because he is a suck-ass coach. How about for once before you open your mouth, you ask if anyone gives a damn about what you are saying you bozo. I hear Pete Carroll got fired too, why not take him up as a political cause. 2) Get off John Rocker's back people, he is an American who pays his taxes, he can say what he wants. If you don't like it fine, but don't send him to therapy or like the champion of tolerance Jesse Jackson, demand his head on a platter. (That's real tolerant Jesse) The world is full of people who hate, and people with short fuses. Last I checked neither was a crime. If what John Rocker did was a crime, then Ted Turner should send Jane Fonda to therapy also for being a commie-sympathizing whore. Last I checked that brat spoke her mind of unpopular views and he said it was great that she felt she could speak it so, and that he was ashamed that Americans wouldn't understand that. HELLO? WHO DOES THIS ASS THINK HE IS? It's scumbags like Jesse jackson and Ted Turner that breed hatred and intolerance, when one opinion becomes all that is allowed we will be living like communists. I'm sure that would make Jane feel great. The Worst Comic Strip Of
All Time.
There are many stupid things to look at in the daily paper, teens flushing babies down toilets, urban blight, fat people suing thin ones, ugly people suing models blah blah blah. So I go to the comic strip, expecting to laugh, and what do I get? - Blondie - When the hell will this strip die? Dagwood has been eating, sleeping and getting kicked by Mr. Dithers for 100 years now. RETIRE. Retire right after the creator explains how Dagwood gets to slap skins with Blondie. What the hell? - Cathy - She is insecure about her weight. I GET IT. Why doesn't that bitch have a strip where Cathy grows the hell up and marries an insecure pud? End it already. - Ziggy - How many times must I hear a "life's little instruction booklet" theme come out of that stubby bastards mouth? Get a girlfriend Zig! And stop talking to your fish! - For Better or For Worse - Canadian freaks. It was painful enough watching the Cosby kids grow up, now I have to look at these dopes get older and wiser? Die already Grandpa. - The Family Circus - Another strip that needs to make a smarmy statement about life every other strip. Mommy mommy! Jeffy is watching TV and made a comment about the dead Grandma and now we're all sappy! PUKE - Hagar - He's a Viking, fat wife, sweet daughter, dorky son. It never was funny, time to get killed by the Moors Hagar. - Doonesbury - Does anyone get this strip? What the hell is Gary Trudeau trying to accomplish? It's not 1969 anymore Gary, and there is plenty of social activism to last 1,000 years without your painful drivel taking up space. - Boondocks - Two black kids hate the world. I'm supposed to laugh? - Garfield - Fat cat, likes lasagna, Jon cant get a date, Odie is dumb. Funny when I was 9, but that was a long time ago. - Sally Forth - The characters look normal. That's a comic strip? Another "mom is strong woman, dad is a stupid clown" thing going on. - The Wizard of Id - The King is a fink! I GET IT. Before I get to the worst comic strip of all time, I must pay homage to three strips that consistently do make my morning funny: - Zits - Very creative, dad is cool, the kid orders pay-per-view porno. It's a riot. - Baby Blues - The kids make the strip. Hilarious. - FoxTrot - Love the genius kid named Jason. Always hooking up a supercomputer to his dad's coffee pot or something. Funny stuff! NOW, THE WORST COMIC STRIP OF ALL TIME: MARMADUKE There is nothing, repeat NOTHING funny about the strip called Marmaduke. The dog is big I GET IT. My God the creator of that strip had one idea and never stopped running with it. O gee, Marmaduke ate a wedding cake, O gee Marmaduke slobbered on the kids homework, O gee Marmaduke wants to sleep in the bed but Goddammit HE'S TOO BIG! Stop this madness before I take a freaking HOSTAGE. That's all folks, till next time BE BRIEF! For those of you who are in the same group as I am, you lead a dismal sports life. Of course the group to which I am referring is the clique of people who root for all 4 Philadelphia Sports Teams. Dan Minshall and Jamie Parker are probably my only friends who can share in my pain, all the others are Oriole fans, Cowboy fans, or whores who just root for the other guy. (Hartland) I have to give props to Mikus and JimRat, they are supporters of 3 Philly teams, but they like the Orioles rather than Phillies. It isn't much better, but it is 3 less years without a championship. Lets look at all 4 teams separately: Philadelphia 76ers- Allies - Corey, Straw, JimRat, Bob, Jamie, Dan the Team: Has been improving, but has not been at all feared since the very early 90's. And even then they choked. Last World Championship 1983. Will not win another until more changes are made. Philadelphia Phillies- Allies - Straw, My brother, Jamie, Dan the Team: They suck. They find a way to be interesting usually, but they really go nowhere. I can't say they didn't try, they didn't know Mike Jackson would fry or Andy Ashby would blow. 1993 they gave me the best season of any team I root for ever. But they still lost the World Series. Last World Championship 1980. Baseball is hard enough to watch as it is. Philadelphia Flyers- Allies - JimRat, Mikus, My brother, Bob, Bill, Jamie, Dan the Team: They break my heart every year. They make me into a believer every stinking year and then they lose. It gets harder and harder to watch 82 games and then watch them piss away series after series. Last Stanley Cup 1975. Philadelphia Eagles- Allies - Mikus, JimRat, Bob, Jamie, Dan The running joke of the NFL. From the coach to the owner to the stadium they play on, this team is a laughingstock. The Rams can go from 3-13 to the Super Bowl title, but the Eagles have been mediocre since the 50's. Hell they wouldn't have even won the World Title in 1960 if Bednarik didn't sit on Norm Van Brocklin for the last 10 seconds of the game. Last Super Bowl Victory never. It's a hard knock life, and in the words of Thunder Dan Minshall: "IS IT TOO MUCH TA ASK FOR ONE FREAKING CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE I DIE? "Jason |
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